"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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