How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
