I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
