I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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