Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
