You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
