Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
