oh god the rape fog is back!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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