At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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