Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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