More tranny stories later!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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