Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
