What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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