soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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