True but thats because hes a fetus.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
