Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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