We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
