As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
