Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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