I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
