Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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