alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
