That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
