Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
