It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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