where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
