just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
