went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
