you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
