Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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