She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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