Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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