that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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