just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
