rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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