I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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