if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
