If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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