I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
