would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize