Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize