OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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