my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I AM VODKA MAN
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
