You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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