wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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