Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
