I'm lost and stupid without you.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
