well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
