I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize