I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
