Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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