wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
