Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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