Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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