Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have aggressive nipples.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
