Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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