She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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