Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
