I'm jealous of your bromance
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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