3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I need help removing her.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize