do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
