Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
