I look better un-naked...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
