so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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