She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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