I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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