Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
