Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
