Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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